"I can’t even begin to understand women" well generally I start by treating them like individual human beings rather than a collective consciousness and then go from there
There are some things that happen to people that are so heinous that it’s not acceptable to joke about, unless the target of the joke is the perpetrator. Rape is not unique in this regard. Genocide and slavery are two other examples, and there are more.
Where rape differs from those examples, however, is that it happens every goddamned day. One in six women in the United States will be the victim of a sexual assault in her lifetime. The same cannot be said of genocide and slavery. Those experiences (especially for those of us in the West) are so remote and removed from our everyday lives that their jokes carry less bite.
A joke about the holocaust where the victims are the butt of the joke is classless and awful, but it’s very unlikely a holocaust survivor will be in the audience. Rape jokes (again, where the victim is the target) are different because, if there are more than six women in the audience, it is extremely likely you are joking about rape to a rape survivor. This can cause severe trauma and real harm, as well as simply being a terrible thing to do to another human.
Another way rape differs from those other examples is the extent to which it is accepted in our society. No one in the developed world will claim that slavery is a good thing. Everyone agrees that genocide is terrible. Jokes won’t change that. Jokes about genocide aren’t going to make people think it’s okay, and encourage them to try it. But rape is different. It doesn’t hold the same universally-reviled place in our society. It’s illegal, sure, and it is often used in TV and film as a plot device coded as a horrible thing to happen. But the fact is that rape culture is alive and well, and male entitlement to female bodies remains dangerously entrenched in our society.
Jokes about rape that skewer perpetrators or satirize the culture that allows rape can be funny and even helpful. But jokes that poke fun at victims and trivialize the experience, often referencing concepts like “asking for it” and “shouldn’t have dressed that way,” tend to normalize rape and send the signal that this behavior is legally prohibited but socially acceptable, in the same way that speeding or smoking marijuana is.
So, now that I’ve answered your question, I’d like you to answer mine: why is joking about rape so important to you? It is uncontested that these jokes badly hurt a large segment of the population that hears them, and some research suggests that by transmitting and normalizing rape culture, they encourage more assaults and less reporting. Why are you and so many others so hell-bent on defending something which causes so much harm and absolutely no benefit to anyone but rapists? No, I don’t really expect an answer, but I think this is something you seriously need to examine for yourself.
one of the worst things about becoming educated on social issues is when people are like ‘you used to have a sense of humor’
no i used to have internalized prejudices which i’ve worked really hard to overcome and i realize now that your jokes are shitty
no one cares if you don’t like short hair on girls shut the fuck up
"ur a giant fuckin dork" I say, trying to convey my great esteem and admiration for you as best I know how.
If a dead ancestor doesn’t appear in the sky to stop me, it can’t be that bad of a decision
"This is Coy Mathis, a transgender 6 year old living in Colorado. It just so happens that my brother is in her class at Eagleside Elementary School in Fountain, Colorado. When I asked my brother how he felt about Coy he said, “She’s got really cool hair and we play on the slides at recess.” I asked what he thought about Coy’s decision to be a girl and he said, “She is a girl. She just got the wrong body on accident.” How is a 6 year old more understanding and accepting of her than many of the adults at Eagleside Elementary?"
-Courtney (via Have A Gay Day)
It drives me up the wall when adults discriminate against LGBTQIAP+ children, ESPECIALLY trans and non-binary children, and excuse it with “well my child would be confused.”
No, children are still learning about the world every day. They can learn about ALL genders and gender expressions and experiences so easily because they have much less transphobia to unlearn first.
Children can get it. Children can understand. And Adults need to stop using children to mask their own ignorance.
photo composition i took for class!
passion is intelligent and beautiful and way underrated. fuck sadness and aloofness and apathy being associated with intelligence, and fuck world weary assholes who don’t get that and decide to romanticize the feeling of being disconnected and empty